Let's not assume that I know everything there is to know about marriage.
Because I feel like I'm still in an early learning phase.
But it has been a Perfect 10 (going very quickly on 11) for us
And here are a few hard-earned secrets I learned on the way.
Pack a Punch
Be unashamedly territorial. Put on the boxing gloves if you need to. You know where your man's weaknesses and vulnerabilities are, guard them like a maniac. A lioness prowling in the grass is the picture that comes to mind. Ain't nobody, nohow.
Pick Your FightYeah, believe it. I'm advocating a fight. But not just any old. See, I've seen marriages crumble because at some point, one or the other of them, simply clammed up. Refused to get out what was really inside. Sometimes a disagreement is needed to clear the thick air. But you've got to learn to fight well and make up even better.
I did say I'd keep this PG, right? And how. There are too many parties missed in a marriage, and no, I'm not just referencing what flashed through your mind. I'm talking about everyday celebration of the other person, big celebrations on birthdays, and all around making your marriage an experience rather than a daily grind. A little more cream and a cherry on top of that cupcake if you please.
Maybe this is more of an elaboration on the above point. You've got a bedroom? Make it look like something out of a resort. No, this is not your college dorm room. And no, it's not the family room. Make it exotic, restful. Save some pennies and buy some fluff. Pillows, throws, fur, rugs, whatever speaks lavish to you.
If you're not a mascara girl, maybe you should become one once in a while. You hear modesty preached, and rightly so, but girls, your marriage is no place to be modest. If you aren't twirling a little skirt for your man, you'll have to go back to Point #1 and you'll be punching in all directions.
Pass on Mediocrity
Give of your fullest self. That means you're bringing all of your personality, charm, and strength to this thing. When (not if) your weaknesses pop up, learn how your man's strength can fill in that gap. Or talk it through. Make sure he understands you know it's weak, but you want to learn strength. Be the very best version of yourself, not the flake you admire in someone else. 200% all the time, baby. KEEP YOUR LOVE ON!
Sometimes it takes a stepping back, a viewing of the overall picture to bring about perfect. Look at how well you're meshing in finances, food, fun, family, frivolous, and more. Make it a well rounded marriage with a landscape of balance proportions. Don't just major on family and forget the fun. You get the picture.
Don'tcha know it! Go get some. Unashamedly.