Fade

 Isaiah 40:6,7-"Everyone is as frail as grass, and their loveliness fades like flowers in the field....when the breathe of the Lord blows over it".

(loosely translated)

Last week we attended my grandmothers funeral.  She was an old soul, and we all desired greatly for her to be in the presence of Jesus for some time.  She lived life full and well and had turned 90 at the beginning of winter.  Death, after a life-cup brim to overflowing, feels so different than one that is abrupt, young and only partially lived.

In a sense, I feel like 'history' died with my grandma.  Like suddenly I realize just how close I am to growing old and being 'that generation'.  I also have this overwhelming sense that, along with her, died memories and stories of my dad.  Even in her last years of partial dementia, she would always say something about him when we would visit her in her elderly-care room.  She would fuss over how much my husband looked like him.  Remind me of how my dad would've loved his grandkids if he could've been here.  It's like a part of him lived with her, and I feel this great loss of him all over again, now that she isn't here to remind me.

We know we aren't made to be here forever.  And I feel great joy over the release of her old body into a new one, one she lived her life to be rewarded with.  She was fiery, motivated, and didn't mince words.  She spoke her mind but she prayed hard.  And in the last years, she struggled graciously as her body and mind gave out on her but there was a level of trust and sweetness that came out during these years that I had never seen before.

My grandparents were married for 71 years.  And my grandfather faithfully went to see her in the nursing home, almost every day, for the last 3 1/2 years.  My grandfather is 'fit as a fiddle' at 92 years old and he so tenderly cared for her.  It was like their relationship mellowed and sweetened during these years.  The loss of his Love was heartbreaking to watch.  He bent low over her casket and gave her the tenderest of kisses as he said goodbye with tears streaming down his face.  And I got this big old knot well up in my throat and my tears then were not for me, but for him.  Seeing the missing and the longing and all the memories of loving, desiring and cherishing come to a close as the lid of the casket thumped shut.

Myron asked me on the way home, what I think would be the most difficult: losing a Love like that at a young age or when you are so close to the end of life.  Here is the thing: when you are young, the tragedy of it can be overwhelming, I believe.  There's a life to be lived without that One person and it can take your heart and leave you broken.  Losing someone at the end of your life is losing, well, your life.  There aren't time for new memories. You awoke every morning to care for that one person and what is there to awaken for tomorrow?  

I don't know.  I only know, that at whatever age, loving someone will always create an opportunity to feel the pain of loss.  Like Isaiah said, "We all wither and fade like a flower", and death is expected at some point.  Carpe Diem.

JO

Truffles

 Back in December, I had posted a picture on Instagram of the truffles I was making for one of my Christmas banquets.  A few people wanted the recipe, and let me tell you, these do not disappoint.  They are so creamy and delicious.

The recipe is not original with me, a friend brought us a beautiful box full one December day a very long time ago and I begged for the recipe. Here it is:

1 1/2 lbs. chocolate wafers or chips

8 oz. Cream cheese, softened

1lb. chocolate for coating

Melt the 24oz. (1 1/2lbs) of chocolate in the microwave.  Or my favorite way to melt it slow is to set a glass bowl over the top of a pan of boiling water.  Bring the water temp back a little, dump the chocolate into the bowl and it melts slow and smooth.  Add the softened cream cheese and flavoring (more on that in a minute).  Big tip: go scant on the chocolate.  The cream cheese makes them creamy and silky, chocolate tends to dry them out. Mix well. Refrigerate a bit.  Drop by teaspoonfulls onto wax paper; chill again until firm enough to roll in your hand.  Roll into balls; place on wax paper and again chill until firm.  Melt the chocolate for coating, then dip the balls into it.  This is the stage when you'd want to sprinkle with any fun candies,sprinkles, etc. I also really love to add in a dash of coconut oil to my dipping chocolate, since it makes the melted chocolate so smooth and also hardens quickly when cooled.  When hardened, drizzle with white chocolate, dark chocolate or candy coating.  

Here are some variations:

(Just make adjustments to the basic recipe above)

Mocha:

16oz. milk chocolate, 8 oz. dark

3 TB. strong coffee

Coat with 12oz. milk chocolate and 4 oz. dark

Mint:

24oz. milk chocolate

10 drops creme de menthe flavor

Coat with 16oz. dark chocolate 

You can tinker with adding in other flavorings to the truffle or to the coating.(Think caramel, raspberry, key lime, etc)  Flavorings that contain alcohol will tend to dry out your chocolate faster as well, so just ease up a bit on how many drops or teaspoonfuls you use.  LorAnn Gourmet flavors packs a lot of flavor in just a few drops.

This recipe yields 50-60 candies 

Have fun and experiment.  This would be a fun Valentines project to do with the kids, or an irresistable treat for a special somebody.  They are beautiful tucked into a box with some tissue paper and wrapped in a bow.

I'd love to know if you try them!

JO

Well, hey there.  WWwwwww...that was me, blowing off the dust that has collected on this blog.  If you've stuck around at all, checked in on me anytime, you'll know that neglect has set in dreadfully.  
For so many reasons:
+ the homeschool factor
+ the ain't got my own computer factor (which really, belongs fair and square in the homeschool sector)
+ the laundry/house/babies factor
+ the old 'everyone else is so much better at this than me' factor
+ the whole 'blogs are so yesterday' theory
And so on.... 

Really, I dearly love to write but it feels so personal to me.  I love to try things...many many things and attempt to be good at them.  When I find something that I really love, I become very protective of them.  I don't mind at all making mistakes on so many things, but when it comes to something that speaks to me, and makes me feel like 'me', I become a bit afraid of not being good enough for myself.  And others.  And all that.  

I've said it before, but I'll throw it out there again.  We'll dust this blog off, see where it takes us.  

It will be random, I'm sure, the path from here.  But I do have some yummy recipes I'm looking forward to sharing with you, some local blogger friends I want to introduce you to and I'm itching to get some guest bloggers over here as well as getting back to just sharing about life.  

I've been having a lot of fun over on Instagram during the last couple of months and you'll find me here: houseonmain.  

See you soon?

JO